It’s going to be weird, living here until May. Partly because classes are over and lots of people have gone home or will be in and out and at the moment campus is deserted, but partly because after twelve weeks last semester, I went home. I got to spend three weeks surrounded by my family for the holidays. I got to spend time with my cat. I got to sleep on my gloriously soft bed instead of on my school mattress which has a spring inconveniently located right where the middle of my back is. I got to see familiar scenery, for even the trees are different in London, and the fields (when I’m on a bus going by them on tours) in England are hilly instead of flat, green instead of yellow, separated by hedges instead of trees. I ate American food and went to all of my favorite places. I hung out with my best friend and we played video games all New Years day.
But after 12 weeks of class, I’m not going back home. For another eight weeks, I’m in London. Those are 20 uninterrupted weeks of England, preceded by three weeks in the states which was preceded by 12 weeks in England. And then I’m going to have about 12 weeks at home before I spend another 12 in England and so on. I’ve been here forever, man. Not that I’m complaining, don’t get me wrong. It’s just…different. It’s odd, to actually be…well…living here. I never felt like I lived at Ball State when I was there. In my head, I lived in Carmel and commuted to BSU, though I stayed there for weeks at a time. But here…that idea is much more difficult to justify. And it’s odd to think that I live here now. I live in a foreign country, and I will for the next two years of my life. Possibly I will live here for more than that. It’s just bizarre. It’s bizarre for me to think that the house I’ve lived in all my life will not forever be my home, that I will not return to it for the rest of my life. I have to redefine how I think of ‘home’, and that’s a very difficult thing to do.
But because I’m not quite ready to let go of those ideas of home just yet, tonight I’m having a very American evening to combat homesickness. I’ll be watching a movie while skyping my friends Tara and Kayla from back at BSU, eating pizza from Pizza Hut, and having one of the A&W Cream Sodas that my sister shipped me for my birthday. I don’t really know how else to make it feel like home other than with food and American friends but hey, I’ve done my best. Now, if only I could have my cat on my lap the evening would be complete!